i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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