you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
the day after is always just damage control
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
