Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
