Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
