is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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