There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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