I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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