I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
