i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
