Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
