her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
