It's a beautiful day for a hangover
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
