You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
