i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
