It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
