I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
