oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
