dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
