What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Small penises have feelings too.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
