just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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