I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
