I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
