I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
