Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Damn victory sex feels great
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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