Can i not drive my cunt home
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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