you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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