why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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