He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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