I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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