After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
