Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
