sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
is your mom at the bar?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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