seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
