You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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