My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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