dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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