I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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