I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
