names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He has the fingertips of a God
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
