Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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