i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I deserve this hangover.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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