I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
