I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Randomize
