Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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