Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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