I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
