just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
