like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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