If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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