JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
