THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
