atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
