there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
