She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
