you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
