OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize