I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Small penises have feelings too.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
