i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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