this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
