Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
